NNRG Leads Development of Luxury High-Rise “Condos” Outside Yelm, WA

In a move to address the rural housing shortage, NNRG is proud to announce its latest venture: a luxury high-rise condominium development just outside Yelm, Washington. Unlike typical multi-family housing, this project prioritizes sustainability, nature immersion, and avant-garde design. The Canopy Club at Yelm Woods will be a luxury high-rise community catering to a discerning clientele seeking exclusivity and organic charm.

Thoughtfully Crafted Amenities

Forget rooftop pools and fitness centers—these condos offer community farms (elevated beyond mere gardens) and unobstructed views of the surrounding rural community. Residents will enjoy the serenity of living within nature, with none of the distractions of urban life (such as Wi-Fi or walls).

Testimonial from a future resident

“I’ve been vacationing in this area for years, but the amenities were always lacking,” says Peter Hardnose (aka Pileated Pete), one of the first residents of the new complex. “Finally, a development that understands my needs: spacious units, high ceilings, and—most importantly—on-site dining. I’m ready to put down roots.”

Unprecedented Specifications

While traditional complexes max out at 18 inches in diameter and 40 feet tall, NNRG’s “condos” will be at least twenty  inches in diameter and offer up to 80 feet of vertical living space. Each unit will be artfully girdled from mature trees, maintaining structural integrity and a rustic-chic aesthetic.

But the real selling point? Community (carpenter ant) farms. By strategically creating light gaps in the forest, NNRG will cultivate log piles to promote thriving ant colonies—a gourmet food source for resident and visiting woodpeckers alike. Market research suggests these farms will be the primary lure for new tenants.

Other key features:

✔ Unparalleled Views – Expansive sightlines for predator detection
✔ No HOA – Strict no-starlings policy enforced by nature

EXCLUSIVE FLOOR PLANS

Studio “Snag” Unit – Starting at 5 grubs/month

• 20-inch diameter (spacious for one, cozy for two)
• South-facing pecking wall (ideal for morning drilling)
• Shared sap well (seasonal)

Deluxe “Cavity” Suite – An absolute steal at 12 grubs/month

• Private rotten-wood core for faster excavation
• Extended eaves for rainy-day foraging
• VIP access to prime beetle larvae zones

Pre-leasing now! Nesting rights guaranteed for 3 years.

“We’re thrilled to pioneer this blend of sustainable forestry and luxury avian living,” says NNRG Executive Director Seth Zuckerman. “These aren’t just trees—they’re lifestyle destinations. With 80 feet of verticality, artisanal decay gradients, and our signature ‘Ant-to-Table’ dining program, we’re setting a new standard for woodland sophistication.”

Addressing Concerns

Some locals criticized the project’s exclusivity. “What about us red-naped sapsuckers?” asked one disgruntled neighbor, clinging to a nearby alder. “These ‘luxury snags’ are pricing out the little guy.”

Regardless of the criticism,l NNRG hopes to expand the model regionally. “Imagine: A network of high-end decaying habitats, linked by canopy corridors,” said Zuckerman, staring into the middle distance as a woodpecker hammered audibly in the background. “This isn’t just real estate. It’s a legacy.”

Disclosure: NNRG is not, in fact, developing a human condominium complex. All units are exclusively for woodpeckers.